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We've been friends for over two decades, who has overcome several obstacles, which I admire. But, she's constantly caught off guard by people. Her partner left her, and it was an unexpected event. Many of close acquaintances disappeared at that point, because they seemed drawn to her husband. She was stunned by her. She made more effort to be my friend, and must have grasped more acutely what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Throughout this period, many close to her have disappeared and she isn't certain of the reason. Her last employer turned on her, although she had been highly competent, she departed unaware of why things shifted.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, we have each left the workforce so we're spending frequent meetups, but I am finding my position in the relationship feels one-sided. I start discussion points only for her to redirect them to things she cares about. Regarding political views, she holds unyielding views. My effort is to propose double-checking information and different perspectives.

She has been organizing a vacation abroad I have traveled to on several occasions even called home previously. I tried to offer personal experiences, however, my input not welcomed. She really only wanted my agreement with her plans. I've just returned from 30 days in that country and she wants to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to be a friend who abandons suddenly without explanation, but I don't think she'll truly grasp the effect of her actions on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in pulling back. What should I do?

Ways Forward

It's possible to cut and run, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution we hope for. However, addressing it with the goal of a solution takes courage and readiness from both people.

Professional advice indicates applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Initially involves describing how things go when you talk. It should be based on facts like what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express her how it makes you feel. This allows for no argument on this point. What you feel belong to you, naturally. The third step is to ask ways you together will alter the interaction of your friendship."

Remember that she also has her own side, so you need to stay open to hear that. An approach that works involves stating your friend:

"Please share your thoughts while I will remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's remarkably impactful to encourage better communication.

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore everything, as some people hold onto a deep-seated story: they maintain a narrative about themselves they won't abandon because their very survival depends upon it being the only thing familiar to them. This poses a challenge when there seems no clear path with these people, just dead ends. However, she might initially present this way then consider on your words. And should a resolution isn't found an agreement, it provides peace that you've been truthful.